Contents:
Intro
Competing interpretations of mushroom imagery in Christian art
Author: Cybermonk. These characterizations are sketchy and extremely unapproved.
Here are the groups who are submitting one actual interpretation (the Monks) and two bunk cover-up stories (the Salvation Salesmen & the Witches) in support of a crooked business plan, along with one interpretation (Dr. Secret) that shows how the presence of mushrooms all throughout Christendom proves that there’s no mushrooms in Christianity.
The Monks
- Cybermonk
- Max Freakout
- Cyberdisciple
- Dr. Jerry Brown
- Religious artists (Eadwine)
- The mycologists (A Curious Fungus: Ramsbottom, Rolfe, Brightman).
The interpretation they put forth: mushrooms in Christian art mean Psilocybin. Amanita is a pointer to Psilocybin (“honorary”); Amanita is merely a symbol for Psilocybin but is not important in itself.
The Monks team holds that the Psilocybin referent is proved by anomalous branching and cut-branch features.
The Monks provide an elaborate, yet simple and compactly summarized theory that added 80 more art pieces to the database just during the course of writing their interpretation article submission, including positive identification of a balancing Amanita fountain in a heavily Psilocybe-filled Hellenistic mosaic, as proved by their own specimen photographs of a double Holy Grail fountain configuration (along with two branching-message mandrake trees).
We had to duck out when they wouldn’t stop spinning out their interpretation theory in exhaustive (and exhausting), endless detail, showing isomorphism among an endless stream of Christian and Hellenistic art images that their theory enabled perceiving, collecting, and organizing.
They also hold that mixed wine & the Eucharist are Psilocybin, and that meditation is based in Psilocybin.
Also they hold a view regarding the other teams’ interpretation: this team’s thesis explains why the other teams’ (the Salvation Salesmen & the Witches) interpretation is transparently obviously a bad-faith cover story, not actually a sincere interpretation, but rather, an interpretation designed to hide and obscure the real, true interpretation, so it’s kind of a pseudo-interpretation, used as a smokescreen.
The Salvation Salesmen
- The pope
- His bankster Wasson, head of megacorp Public Relations
- The art historians (Brinckmann, Panofsky)
- The Meditation Hucksters
aka the Presupposers, the Question Beggars.
Business Model
Business plan; business model, mission statement, and conflict of interest strategic product plan:
Hide the fact that mixed wine, the Eucharist, mushroom trees, and meditation are psilocybin, and replace that by our placebo salvation by installment plan.
This team’s submitted interpretation is that all of the mushroom trees in Christian art are intended to mean Italian umbrella pines that grow in Italy and happen to be the trees which we managed to post-hoc scrape together that happened to look down closest like mushrooms that we were able to find to prop up our bullsht cover story in order to hide and obscure the obvious truth that the mushroom trees (only one of which is Amanita shaped) obviously refer to Psilocybin mushrooms, and also they are trying to cover over the awkwardly explicit artists’ term that comes from the artists, the term “mushroom trees”, which has to be somehow twisted to mean not mushrooms.
We never actually meant mushrooms when we said “mushroom trees”; we merely meant that all of these mushroom trees look exactly identical to mushrooms all around all of the regions in which they were drawn.
But of course all of these regional artists intended to draw Italian Mushroom Pines I mean oops I mean to say Italian umbrella pines which look the most like mushrooms that we were able to post-hoc patch together our flimsy cover story and try to foist and frame it as a so-called “interpretation” a.k.a. a criminal’s lie, to speak frankly.
Because most of these regional mushroom tree art shops had zero Italian umbrella pines in their region, that explains why they had to import distorted templates that, on the long journey from Italy, always consistently came to look exactly like the mushrooms, which do grow in every region of every one of these mushroom tree art shops, in fact they’re growing right in the backyard of each of the shops, but that’s not what they were trying to draw.
All of these art shops and all of these widespread regions were specifically trying to draw the kind of tree in Italy which is famous for looking the closest like a mushroom to any kind of tree.
So you see, it all makes sense.
But the mushroom tree artists were not trying to draw their local mushrooms which grow right out behind the Christian artists’ shops, but rather, they were trying to draw the italian trees from 1000 miles away that are widely renowned for looking just like mushrooms; therefore, they did not intend to draw mushrooms.
QED
The Witches
- Letcher Hatsis
Startup Business Plan
Cover over and hide and replace Psilocybin in the Eucharist and in Christian art by the cheap high, mind-scrambling hallucinogen deliriant scopolamine plants, and become famous as the disprover of mushrooms in Christianity, which is easy because all you have to do is show there was no secret Amanita cult propagation, and then you’ve covered the entire theory.
If there are any other minor little aspects which we have not found yet, in our several hours of researching the mushroom theory of Christianity, it’ll be easy to extend our same story to cover any other little details of perspectives in the little pop theory that we’re taking down.
Basically if we can just attack Jan Irvin who has left the field only a couple decades ago, personally attack him hard enough, and there’s really no one else on the horizon in 2016 that you need to appear to disprove.
So we have a very high expectation that this business plan is sound, because we spent several hours researching it.
Our startup company is presently going through a re-branding from Psychedelic Witch to “Psychedelic Historian”, but no one will notice this superficial re-branding – just be sure to aggressively personally attack and taunt everyone (the standard ways of conducting yourself among professional historians and in roller derby) and lecture them and burn up all your word-count lecturing them about our sound, tried-and-true historical criteria exemplary historiographical methodology, rather than actually delivering any great method, or bothering to state specifically what our historical criteria are; just go see somewhere(?) in our online amateur blogger articles that we threw together.
We also worked equally carefully on the timing of our going public; we timed it exactly so that our online amateur blogger articles would come out just before Dr. Brown publishes his book The Psychedelic Gospels which we are unaware of, that’s coming out from the same publisher, Park Street Press, that published our work on deliriant scopolamine plants.
We don’t think there will be a gigantic freight train collision trainwreck; we expect to come out looking great, because we checked for several minutes as soon as we released our articles in 2015.
We checked and saw that there were no books on the horizon such as by a entheogenic cultural anthropologist teaching college course on that subject since 1975 who’s about to release a book called The Psychedelic Gospels, so everything’s looking great and green-light for the new rebranding, to appear to be a historian.
His submitted interpretation is: Anything But Mushrooms.
When pressed for specific referents for various instances of the hundreds of mushroom trees, Letcher Hatsis mumbles something lackadaisical and half-hearted like “parasols of victory, or whatever; stop being anachronistic”.
The top historian of art, Panofsky, wrote that the #1 historiographical consideration for interpreting the Plaincourault fresco is that there is nothing special or unique about this instance of the commonplace “mushroom tree” motif in Christian art.
Therefore, our high-profile attack article that will make our corporate brand famous at the Graham Hancock site is going to restrict itself to exclusively talking about the Plaincourault fresco in complete isolation and avoid mentioning the existence of the hundreds of mushroom trees which the top historian emphasized is the #1 consideration for interpreting this fresco.
The Monks expect this team to steal credit from the Monks’ discoveries that are due to the Monks’ superior interpretation and authentic interpretation: “mushroom trees” are actually branching-message mandrake trees, like with cut branches, shown parallel to the parasol of victory that’s shown twice in the Montecassino manuscript.
Dr. Secret
- John Allegro 1970
- Ruck 1975
- M. Hoffman
- Jan Irvin
Their submitted interpretation of mushroom shapes in Christian art is that they are actually hidden & secret, designed to prevent communication, and proves that the normal, real Eucharist is separate from & alien to Psilocybin.
The presence of mushrooms all throughout Christendom proves that there’s no mushrooms in Christianity, but that mushrooms are completely alien to real, normal Christianity, as proved by writing a couple additional books each year, adding to the tower of books proving the presence of evidence for the absence of mushrooms in real Christianity and that mushrooms only appear exclusively in pseudo-Christianity, impinging on real Christianity from a secret, alien, outside source.
This team holds the the secrecy premise, which implies that “normally” the Eucharist is not Psilocybin – in sharp opposition to the Monks’ interpretation, which is that the normal Eucharist was understood to be Psilocybin and that mushrooms were explicitly, openly depicted and were intended to be recognized as mushrooms, along with efficiently and elegantly communicating their “non-branching” message, representing mental transformation to the non-branching model of time, possibility, and control.
Reference
- https://www.bing.com/search?q=rules+of+roller+derby
- https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=roller+derby
The Egodeath theory 